Sleep

I laid awake for most of the night last night. Why can't I sleep?? Maybe it has something to do with the torn ligament in my upper rib cage that wraps around to my back. Maybe it's going to the bathroom every hour. It could even be the intense leg cramping I have been having. There is a possibility it's a full size baby in my stomach that loves to kick as hard as he can when I lay down. I wonder if it's because I am starting to panic because the big day is only 12 days away.... at most. Whatever it is, I can't sleep to save my life and I am exhausted. I think it's an Ambien night.

Whale

I feel like a whale. Is it possible to get any bigger? I think one of the worst things about being this massive is having to depend on help from other people. I am usually the type that won't ask for help or even take it if offered. Now I can't keep up with Warren. He is WAY faster than I am so I have no choice but to rely on other people for help. I can barely bend over to pick up toys. As much as I wish my house was clean I just can't do it. Part is because I don't have the energy, the other part is because I can't bend or reach a lot of things because my belly is in the way. 17 days...

3 weeks left!!!

We went to the doctor today. It was really weird to schedule my C-Section. It put into perspective how soon this baby will be here. August 12th is the big day, unless my water breaks or I go into labor of course. Crazy.

The appointment went well. I am barely starting to dilate.... sorry if you hate that word, but this is my journal and I'll write what I want..... nothing major though.

Here were my questions for this round:

1. Can I start taking my "baby blue" pills now to help get me ready? YES
I had the baby blues BAD with Warren. I wish someone would have told me to expect it. Apparently most women go through it, but are to embarrassed to admit it. Well, here I am admitting I was miserable for about 4-5 months after Warren was born. Had I known there was a magic pill to cure the depression, we all would have been happier. So, this time around we are getting ready early.

2. Can I go to Bear Lake this weekend? It's not recommended, but I can't hold you here. You run the risk of delivering in a podunk hospital but it's up to you.
So, we are going! Andrew said he'll drive fast if my water breaks.

3. I have been feeling sharp electric shock type pain shooting out my you know what.... Your babies head is right there, of course it can hurt and that's normal. Awesome (sarcasm)

4. I have a crazy pain at the top of my ribs that sometimes hurts so bad I cry. Your baby is kicking hard there. It could either be a cracked rib, or a torn ligament. His tone was kind of a "good luck with that" tone. You only have 3 weeks left.

So, that's it. We are almost there. Time to pack a hospital bag and a bag for Warren. The big difference this time around is I have to think about another child and where he can go while I'm in the hospital. What if my water breaks in the middle of the night.... who do I call?

I only have a few more things to do before baby boy gets here. I guess the biggest thing is decide on a name. Right now the front runners are James, Weston or Edward. I LOVE Edward and call him Eddy. I am just nervous people will think I am a Twilight fan and I can't be more opposite. I hate that crap. Andrew LOVEs Weston but I'm not sold on it. We both like James so that is more than likely what it will be. I guess we'd better decide soon.

The countdown begins

I can't believe we have 25 days left!!! CRAZY. I am super ready physically. Mentally on the other hand, I could probably use more than 25 days. My little What to Expect app on my phone has had 2 updates this week that I think are supposed to help get my butt in gear and ready. The first one was... "You only have 4 weeks left. Pack your hospital bag." Really? It could happen anytime now I guess. The other was "Plan your route to the hospital." I guess the time is closer than I realized.

Here is my physical state: I am so $%#* hot I can't stand it. I seriously can't believe how much sweat I can produce. Sorry if that's TMI, but it's true. I get more and more massive every day so I feel like I get even more hot every day. I have a pinched nerve at the top of each leg so walking is miserable. My ribs hurt so bad I wouldn't be surprised if one was broken. I am so tired and have no motivation to do anything. When does that nesting crap start??? I need it to kick in because I don't care that my house is a wreck right now which is SO not like me.

My mental state: Scared. I am nervous about so many things. I just babysat my brothers 6 week old baby for a couple of days and it was a rude awakening for how it is going to be here soon. I am terrified of the operation I am going to have. I am worried sick about my duties at work. I know the staff can handle it, but do I really want them to? NO. Over the past 8 years I have seen the Utah Open go from being a joke to an event that even PGA Tour members are apparently talking about and some have even called to try to play. I guess I can't do anything about it now, but I hope it all goes well.

I know it always sounds like I am dreading this second baby. I really am excited to meet him and to expand the family. It is just crazy to think that it's really happening.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. Apparently we get to set an official date for the delivery. We have talked about August 12, but we'll see.